Hey good man, here with an Authentic Talk Note something we talked about a lot
in Group is, how men really get stuck playing the narratives out in their head?
We'll think about a conversation that we've got to have with an a co-worker or a
boss, a close relationship.
Some kind of conflict that we've got to address in our lives and we'll find
ourselves trying to figure out the answer that could lead to many different streets
or roads that this conversation could take place in this relationship.
And we will really wear ourselves out thinking about well “if they say this, I'll say
this and if this happens I'll do this what if they say this” and we really get caught
up in living trying to predict the future, it's a way of control it's a way of feeling a
pseudo security and not being secure.
That we will be able to handle it, we will be able to present our issue and react to
ways that are healthy, trusting ourselves, there's a lot of self-love and walking into
a conversation with somebody you have a relationship with and saying.
“I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna be me and I'm gonna be secure in myself and not
get defensive, but just be and bring the principles that I've created for myself to
that conversation”
And Trust the process rather than get so caught up running the narratives in our
head that we're not even really present with where we're at now and then in the
conversation we won't be present, because we'll be trying to predict what they're
gonna say next and try to control the conversation to the way that we feel like it's
got to go.
And it's just not a good way to confront and have a good meaningful
conversations. Controversy and leaning into conflict, is a really good way to
connect with people, to find a good way to have a win-win and really looking at
how do I engage with things?
Instead of shy away from them or have to know the answer before I push in, but
just trust in yourself that you are a good man and you will find your way, as long
as you're present in those conversations.
CALL TO AUTHENTICITY
Call the authenticity here, looking at conflict. Do you find yourself avoiding it? Or
you find yourself coming in really strong and trying to control it? Both of those
are modes of insecurity just being okay with yourself being gracious with self,
with the other person to go on the journey to say hey this is a difficult
conversation let's have it let's not try to predict it and control it, manipulate it or
shy away from it.
CIRCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS AND S.P.I.E.S
So really looking at those ways that we try to all those controversial conversations.
Circle Of Relationships this can be in pretty much any relationship you have with
somebody that where you've got to confront them, anywhere from the one through
seven we see it mostly in the one through fives.
Because those are the people we were engaging with Number 6’s to, you gotta
have boundaries so really looking at those conversations and saying I'm gonna
show up I'm gonna be me and that's enough and I'm going to be present I'm not
gonna have to control this conversation.
As far as the S.P.I.E.S go, really looking at our intellectual health. How much do
we spend their time in our mind? Rather than being okay with our heart and our
relationship with somebody. But really getting caught on that hamster wheel this
“is what could happen so I'm gonna do this” or you know really planning and
scheming ahead of time and it's really a form of manipulation. All right there's
you're ATN for today, hope you have a great one, go and be present. We'll talk to
you next time.