Hey good man here with another Authentic Talk Note. In group this week we were
talking about the idea of pleasing people and one of the guys mentioned ”Yeah!
I’ve got the disease to please” and we all kinda looked at each other like “that
sounds like a great disease to have”
And upon further reflection we realized, that now its not. So the idea there is; we
kind of say “yes” when we really don't mean it and the pleasing other people is the
most important thing even at the most self sacrificial place.
So we’ll say “yes” to the significant other, we’ll say that “yes” to the friend, we’ll
say “yes” to the family, we’ll say “yes” to work, well say “yes” to the organization
we’re giving to and all of a sudden we don't have any time for ourselves, we don't
have any quality time for relationships.
And there's very little margins so we could rest or if something comes up the rails
there's no time to recover from that. And so often we stretch ourselves so thin
because we want to please those around us, those affirmations of us being a good
boy, all of a sudden are more important than our health and actually being genuine
with those around us.
“I remember when we went to the mall, there's a guy walking around 5 steps
behind his significant other, looking like someone just shot his dog and his just
there maybe because he got paid to be there I don’t know.” It's an easy thing to do
when your significant other comes to you “hey hunny would you like to go
shopping with me?”
You don't want to hurt her feelings and you haven't thought of anything else you
want to do so you say “yeah sure, I’d go shopping with you. Actually! I'd love to
sweet heart!” All while inside you're thinking “I’d rather do anything else other
than shop today.”
But you want to please her but you went along therefore you look like the guy at
the mall whose dog just got shot. I encourage that you take a different approach,
only say “yes” when you mean it and that will truly look okay.
Where are my priorities at. When I’m saying “yes” to things I’m saying “no” to
other things. I'm not saying going shopping with your significant other is the end
to all evil. No, I still go shopping with my wife but it's more quality than quantity.
She does far more shopping than I do because she likes it.
I don't but when I do say “yes” and say “yes I want to go shopping with you” I am
all in I'm telling her “yes that looks good on you, hey check this out” I might
actually make a joke and be alive in the thing.
CALL TO AUTHENTICITY!
Granted that it's not for 4 hours but I’m there, I'm all in and I've said “yes” and I
meant it. So the Call To Authenticity today is, say “yes” when you mean it. Be
genuine if don't want to do something say “no” and see where that takes you have
a real authentic conversation about it and maybe let's focus on some quality rather
then quantity.
CIRCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS & S.P.I.E.S
To tie this to the Circle Of Relationships this is a big one for me and the Number
1. I like to get my affirmations from other people so I'll say “yes” and hoping that
they'll say come on good boy or I'll say yes to work and just really stretch myself
really thin.
So the Number 1 Circle will affect the other Circles however, I will say this is a
very good focus on the Number 1 for you where talking about emotional
obligations, social obligations. Those are probably the main ones maybe some
spirituality in there think about that.
If we’re having to get our goodness from what we do or the response from others
well all of a sudden we've got to do a whole lot and got to keep doing a whole lot
in order to be good enough.
So if you know you're a good man that won't affect your spirituality for sure. So
more about Circle Of Relationships or spies click on the link below i'll look
forward to seeing you tomorrow.