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Setting Boundaries with a Family Member

Hey good man, here with an Authentic Talk Note. One of the guys was processing a group this morning, the importance of him setting boundaries with a family member. He said “it's my brother and he's come on hard times and he needs a place to stay.”

He said “so I want to be compassionate in this but, however I don't want to enable him to not look at his own situation and try to find his own empowerment to get out of these difficult times for himself.” So he said “I open up my house for a month and I said you can stay here for a month, but after a month I really want you to go out and find what you're going to do for yourself.”

He said “this is a boundary that's important for me, so I can care for my Number Two and Number Three relationships and then I'm not putting all my energy into my Number Four relationship.”

Also caring for self and making sure we have our own peaceful place that we can rest and recharge, so that we can't have positive impact in everything that we engage in, rather than coming from a place of not having enough energy and even feeling resentful and bitter towards people that are taking advantage of us.

But really empowering ourselves to say “yeah I can be compassionate, however I really want to have boundaries so that it doesn't get taken too far and I don't take on other people's problems, I can take care of myself.”

So really looking at the dynamic between family members and what does that look like to have clear boundaries? Proactive boundaries? And with a time limit so that you can be honest and open and that. Really he said “open up great dialog between the both of us, where we could talk about what does it look like moving forward? and how he's comfortable with that month time frame.


So really looking to Call To Authenticity here is let's look at our family dynamic. Dynamics here are we bending over backwards? Are we getting taken for granted? Do we need to set clear boundaries? Do we need to communicate those boundaries clearly so that people understand where we're coming from?

And that's feel guilt in that we only have so much time energy and resources to give and if we're giving it out constantly, we will have to take it from other Circles so just being aware. It's great to help it's great to have compassion, it's great to be there for people in need.

However we've also got to be careful that we're not enable enabling them and taking away their own journey and their own growth, so that we are trying to fix and be there for them and just really looking so that we don't get resentful and that relationship doesn't turn into a toxic relationship.


And really what started out to be a positive thing and helping somebody becomes a negative thing and a resentful piece. As far as Circle Of Relationships go. Really looking at the balance between the Number One Circle and the Number Four Circle the family dynamic Circle.

Really looking at what our healthy boundaries look like in there and this is a good situation for that. As far as the S.P.I.E.S go. We're really looking at social health, where our priorities go? and really looking at emotional health, how do we process our own emotions?

And I want to help but I also need an honor that I only have so much time energy and resources and then that priorities scale obviously looking at the Number Four Circle and how much we're capable of helping in those circles? All right there's your ATN for today I hope you have a great one. We'll talk to you next time.

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