Hey good man, here with another Authentic Talk Note. In groups we were talking
about being okay with feedback. And one of the guys mentioned “I tend to get
defensive whenever I’ve gotten negative feedback.” And that's a pretty common
thing for us guys because we don't want to be failures.
Sometimes when we get feedback we feel that way. I will give an example: So just
last night I went home and I've been working all day and came home to a child
getting sick. My son was starting to run a fever and not feeling well.
Kind of whining, much like I would be if I were sick and my wife was tired from
the whole day and so when I came home she had asked me to kinda help out and
grudgingly so I was like “yeah sure that's fine like that was so much to ask.”
So I got him some medicine and I spilled it on him and I was like “oh my gosh!
This is ridiculous” and I kind of had a little mini explosion there and she was like
“watch your attitude..” and as soon as she said that i said “WATCH YOUR
And was like a complete deflection looking back today it was quite comical I like
to hold those thing light because if I didn’t I would start to eat myself up it’s
important that we take the concept to be blameless not perfect.
This has freed me up so much in my life it’s allowed me to say okay where did I
miss the mark on this one I don't have to be perfect but I do want to be blameless
so it was like we didn't get a result but it's gonna be on our docket to talk about
today as were going to spend time for lunch.
I’m going to approach her and say you know what I missed the mark there and I
just want to circle back around and say “I didn't make the transition, I've done
some self reflecting, I didn't make the transition from work to home, I brought
work to home and therefore; there was stress and i was kinda rough around the
So I’d like to acknowledge that I would like to work on that and the way I come
home and transitioning on my drive to shut work off and just be at home and be
the relationship side the effective side rather than the efficient side.
Gotta get him his medication gotta get him in bed gotta get his bottle gotta make
sure he is sleeping you know it's just a run of emotions. Hey let's be blameless
you're free to not be perfect however don’t be afraid to circle back around and I
would strongly encourage especially the 1 2s and 3s that were processing this.
CALL TO AUTHENTICITY!
Personally and then going to our close relationships and saying “hey I wanna be
blameless in this and know that I missed the mark and that’s okay I’m still a good
man.” So the Call To Authenticity. The next time you get defensive don't wear it,
don't blame it but reflect on it.
CIRCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS & S.P.I.E.S
And then fall back around, don't worry about being perfect, but instead let's be
blameless it's a great concept. Tie that to the Circle Of Relationships. 1 - 4 often
those are the essential areas where this really pays off, where we can circle back
around and be blameless.
It works well at work as well, when we miss the mark, when we mess up. It’s like
“hey, I totally messed up, Imma reflect on that and be a little intentional the next
time.” As far as the holistic side of things, I'd say there's a lot of emotion that
drives in there and my spirituality has a big play in it whether I feel like I'm a
If my spirituality is on the back burner, I would tend to take a lot more things
personally because, I’m not being filled up by my source, I’m not knowing I'm a
good man outside of my actions.
I invite you to join us on the journey we've got a private Facebook page for men.
We've got some great resources that I'm really excited about: extended podcast,
clip notes. We’re basically shortening books and sending them your way, so you
can chew on those and dissect them.
I would love to hear from you and I just want to be a part of your journey, we all
do here at AMG and I look forward to hearing from you, we’ll see tomorrow.