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Working on Yourself

Updated: May 22, 2019


Hey good man, here with an Authentic Talk Note. One of the guys is processing in group that he's committed to marriage counseling with his significant other. This is something he was not really all that interested in doing, because of what their marriage has amounted to up to.

This point and he said “he'd rather just kind of walk” and Steady's gotten involved in group and in his own journey and found that he wants to find that his health is what is leading the way, rather than his fear of potentially this relationship causing him pain for him again, if they get back together.

He said “I'm going to get healthy and then I'll go from there.” Well just recently he's started to kind of feel that health and now that he's committed to say “I'm gonna get in the room with my significant other and talk about these issues and see if we can work them out.”

He said “I'm now finding that I'm falling back into old coping mechanisms and a kind of surface level.” he said “in my life is kind of turning into fluff, I find myself really drawn to sports and more light things.”

“There's nothing wrong with these things.” He said “but more of a coping mechanism that it is actually something that I'm wanting to engage in a more.” He said “I feel that avoidance, I feel like I'm missing out on something” and he is really just finding a way to be in this and say “I don't just because I'm committed to work on the marriage doesn't mean that it's going to have all this pressure tied to it and whatever was has to be and and I can't stand up for myself and everything changes.”

He said “it's really kind of been difficult to see, how is my growth gonna re-enter this relationship. If it can?” and he said “that's scary because I've never been here before, but we all really rallied and said “it’s fantastic that you're acknowledging this and that you're okay with the fact that you see that you're coping with things, rather than getting real and you feel like your life's turning to fluff.”

You said “you know that's a huge thing to celebrate and then not to put yourself in such restrictions that now, you've committed to work on the relationship, that you don't have the freedom to continue to operate out of health and that you have to sacrifice yourself but now it's a journey to find the way how you both get healthy?


And maybe that leads to a healthy relationship. So Called To Authenticity here. Get healthy, then make healthy decisions and get people around you to help you sustain that health so you don't go back to old habits.

We as a culture are fantastic and going back to old habits. There's so many things we can have this moment that distract us and keep us coping through life, rather than really engaging and getting intimate with our significant others.


So as far as Circle Of Relationships go. It's a big Number One. We're doing an inside job here work on ourselves and how that's gonna impact our Number Twos, our significant others? As far as the S.P.I.E.S go, really look at emotional health here.

How are we allowing our emotions to be in the room, but not controlling and driving us as soon as we start to commit to intimate relationships? So that's your ATN for today. Let's not be afraid of the help, that we've created and started to come to know, but let's continue to use that as a fluid process and also trust the process. There's your ATN for today, I hope you have a great one. We'll talk to you next time.

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